There is definitely something about this time of year that makes me overwhelmingly cranky. It's cold. It's windy. It's overcast. And the warmer, sunny days merely lull one into thinking winter might be nearly over only to get a whammy of cold weather the next day. Even yesterday's snow day did nothing to lift my spirits. I'm tired of it being cold and having to wear my coat and bulky layers. I'm tired of my job and the isolation I often feel because I'm a department of one. I'm tired of working to find books that support the curriculum only to have teachers tell me that they'll just have their classes use Google. I'm tired of trying to show teachers how to use library resources only to have them tell me that they don't want to learn and they'll just use Google. I'm tired of being a "go-to" person for extracurricular things and not being compensated for not saying no. I'm tired of not being able to say no. I'm tired of feeling like I'm left out of the proverbial loop all the time. (But as a total aside in this rant, I looked up "proverbial" on answers.com and in Dutch, the word is
spreekwoordelijk. That makes me feel a little better.) I'm tired of Paul working so many hours and being so stressed. I'm tired of his self-centered coworkers who are adding to the stress by threatening to quit in the middle of projects. I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything to help him. I'm tired of my life being on hold because he is under such stress and works so many hours. I'm tired of always looking on the bright side of things.
I know that I'm so blessed and fortunate in so many ways in my life--house, car, health, husband, friends, etc., etc.--and I'm not discounting any of that. I simply need to wallow for a while and I could probably use a good cry as well. A good long cry that has no real purpose but cleanses the soul even if it does leave me snubbing at the end.
And another day off would be good, as well:
6 comments:
Mmm... I'm feelin' ya. I keep starting to blog, write, do something and then I just blah-out. Sick and tired of feelin' sick and tired.
You need chocolate! Artificial lift; I know, but a lift, nonetheless.
Love the picture... I always felt like that when I worked at the bookstore.
Here's to a fine bottle of whine and some yummy chocolate... and may the sun shine its warmth on all of our hineys... soon.
:)
Maybe you should change your name to Google, then when they say they want to use Google, you could say, "Here I am!"
Must be something about this time of year. I feel super tired of everything, too, and I don't really have a good reason to be so burnt out.
I would tell you to make a trip to Dallas to get out of the cold but that's not really going to help right now...plus the last couple of days you would have been blown away. I thought things were supposed to be better for Paul - I'm really sorry to hear that's causing stress again. After you've had your cry, watch some episodes of "Family Guy" - that will surely make you laugh!! Unless you don't like the show and now you just think I'm a complete wacko...
I echo the sentiment! I haven't seen the sun for almost fourteen days, up here above the tree line.
I love that website, though -- I'm always going out and cracking up over the funny kitteh pics.
I'm wallowing too. I am glad to hear that it isn't just me. I felt like I just went through this during the craziness of Christmas (that did just happen, didn't it?). I'm ready for at least two days all to my self. I don't see that happening anytime soon. Together, we can make it! :)
Wallow away.... It's the doldrums I tell you!
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