How I finally snagged him

I've always said I knew I was going to marry Paul before we were even dating. I had that moment of epiphany over Labor Day Weekend, 1995. Paul was dog-sitting for a friend of his who was out of town for the long weekend. He was playing with this obnoxious little poodle and suddenly I just knew I was going to marry this boy. I was 20 years old, we weren't dating, we were barely friends. But something in me just knew.

Convincing Paul took a bit longer.

We were together at Tech for about a year until Paul finished his master's program mid-semester and moved back to Albuquerque in October 1996. I graduated in May 1997 and spent a year teaching in Texas.

I moved to Albuquerque in the summer of 1998 to start graduate school and gave us 16 months (the length of the graduate program) to figure out what we were going to do--we'd dated almost three years but we'd only spent one year in the same town. There were more than a few naysayers when I announced I was moving to NM for a boy. Most people couldn't believe I was going to do this without us being engaged and no real promise that we ever would be. Honestly, I had plenty of my own doubts but it was something I had to do.

My first year in ABQ was rough. When I look back, I'm amazed and happy Paul stuck it out with me. I was horribly homesick when I first moved here--there is more than a little animosity for Texans among many New Mexicans and during my first graduate class, I was actually greeted with an "I hate Texans" by one of my classmates. Welcome to the Land of Enchantment! After I started teaching, I was transferred to a different school after the 20-day enrollment count. Because the numbers were down at the school where I was, as the last-hired, I was sent to a school that had higher-than-predicted enrollment. It was horrid--it's a tough school to begin with and the students were understandably angry about changing teachers. I was miserable. I cried almost daily and there were times when Paul would stay at my apartment to make certain I went to work the next morning.

Of course, as the year was progressing, it was getting closer and closer to my deadline for when Paul had to propose or I moved back to Texas. I've had several friends (mostly male) tell me it was rotten to give Paul an ultimatum but I don't think it was one. I just wanted to know if I was just spinning my wheels or if we were actually heading down the aisle. I wasn't getting any younger--heck, I was already a ripe old 24. Paul was relunctant to even talk about marriage so I honestly didn't know what he was thinking. Did he want to marry me? Was he just being nice to me because I'd moved for him and life wasn't exactly rosy as a result? Did he think it was all a big mistake? I had no clue.

Then, our friend with the obnoxious poodle ratted Paul out during a visit in early March that he'd gotten his grandmother's ring from his parents. That got my hopes up a bit but after three weeks with no sign of a ring, I had pretty much given up on a proposal. I was heading to Texas for Spring Break and was going to start looking for jobs back there. Paul and I were going to spend Monday together before I was gone for the week when he decided to go in to work for the morning which turned into most of the day. By 2:00, I'd had it with waiting and decided I'd just leave early and called Paul to tell him so. He told me to please wait, he'd be coming over soon.

So I went to Target.

And the grocery store and just wasted time for a few hours, knowing full well that Paul was probably waiting at my apartment. (Yes, I know--passive-agressive.) Walking into my apartment, Paul was indeed waiting there for me with the cat. Still a little peeved with him, I opted to open junk mail in the kitchen rather than talk to him.

That's when he handed me this beautiful wooden jewelry box he'd gotten a few years earlier on a trip to San Francisco. He hadn't given it to me after that trip because he thought it needed something nice in it. Something nice like his grandmother's wedding ring.
I think he said something about how much he loved me and that he wanted to spend his life with me and would you marry me? I honestly can't remember because I was too busy shouting, "Oh, my gosh! That's a big diamond!" It wasn't the most romantic of proposals but it did the job since I said yes and we got married six months later--it took 3 1/2 years to get to a proposal, didn't see a need to wait around any more. Paul's idea was "any time after May" but I'd had my heart set on a fall wedding for a long time. October 2 it was.

My sister Amy jokes about my "used" diamond. The ring was from Paul's step-grandmother Esther. She married Paul's grandfather Ralph in the mid-70's (Paul's grandmother died of cancer when Paul was about 3). The diamonds were ones from her family--the main diamond is an Old European cut which dates back to the early 1900's--but we don't have any history before that. The style of the ring wasn't really me so I did have it reset into something much simpler and part of the platinum was incorporated into Paul's wedding band.

After we were married, my MIL told me she was really worried Paul was going to mess up and I would move back to Texas. She didn't know of the "ultimatum" I'd given Paul--she just couldn't blame me for leaving him if he didn't do something. I have to admit I was really worried about Paul messing up, too. I didn't know if Paul would actually make me live up to my word. I've been asked many times if I actually would have done it--actually left him if it hadn't proposed. I don't think I really would have had a choice.

Every day, I'm so glad I didn't have to make that decision.

Spring

I've spent the last hour or so watching a variety of sparrows and finches collecting bits of the decorative grass I cut back last weekend. The sprigs left behind are apparently perfect for nests.. The weather has been beautiful the past week--I even enjoyed the three rainy days last week. I need to get back out and do some more work in our yard--some of the plants didn't weather the winter too well. It can wait though. I hate to interrupt the necessity of nest-building.

Huh.

Watching NCAA basketball tonight and playing on the computer, I started randomly typing things into Google to search. One of the more random things I was looking for was an obituary of a neighbor who died several years ago. He'd written his own obituary before his death and it definitely read as Leslie. A teacher at my school has students doing various projects for Bridge to Terabithia, including writing an obituary for the character (also Leslie) who dies in the book. I wanted to show them a copy of this obituary as an example.

While on my Google hunt, I came across a biography for an author named Martha Freeman. Her book The Year my Parents Ruined my Life is a favorite of mine in my library, partly because I just knew my own parents had completely destroyed my life when I was 13 and they moved me to Texline. TEXLINE! A town I was convinced didn't even exist because I was absolutely positive that there was no town between Dalhart and Clayton. Low and behold, there is and we lived in that town for seven years. Although it's not much of a town--425 people according to the city limit sign I have in my garage (that's a whole other post--what does one do with the assortment of ill-gotten gains from youth? Paul says we should return it the next time we're up in the area--just leave it on the City Hall doorstep. And I didn't steal it--it was a "gift" from friends when we found out we were moving to Canadian.) But as it turned out, that move to Texline wasn't that bad after all.

But that's not the interesting thing. The interesting thing is that the author Martha Freeman is the daughter of my neighbor. I didn't realize this until tonight's random-Google-a-thon. It's always amazing to me how small the world really is. Perhaps I'll send her an email and tell her all of this and how much I like her book, etc. Authors like that kind of thing, right?

TWO posts! In ONE day!

I'm fairly certain one of my student aides think that I'm either 1) a bumbling idiot or 2) a bumbling idiot who tells bad jokes. Either way, I think he feels I create extra work for him in his position as Library Student Aide, especially given my muck-up with the recent library system conversion and the itty-bitty issue that not recalibrating the barcode scanner created.

In a nutshell, if a book scans in as "Used in Library," we have to scan it a second time, deleting the last number of the barcode because when I didn't recalibrate the scanner, it inserted an asterisk thus deleting the last number of the barcode. Some of the books will then show up as checked out to a student; other times it doesn't. There was a possibility of nine other books having the same barcode and that particular book was incorrectly checked in when another student returned a different book (say I checked out to 345609100123; without the last number it could be anything from *120-*129). It is still a big mess almost a month after the conversion--I know there are students with books out that didn't show up on the list because of the barcode fiasco. It's also a mess because I have yet to convince this particular student aide to CHECK THE BOOKS IN TWICE. Not every book, dude, but if it says "used in library," scan it again. Come on, all the other aides are doing it. He thinks it's unnecessary to scan it the second time because 75% of the time, it comes up with a "barcode not found" message.

Ah, but that 25% of the time?

Today, report cards were handed out today during 7th period. I give a list of students with overdue books to the office. If a student has an overdue book, his/her report card is held. There were a dozen or so students in the library saying, "But I turned my book in." And a few said, "I gave it to him." indicating the reluctant scanning student aide. All I can do is just sign off on their pass and believe them because of the mess I created in the first place.

Eh, well. In the end, it's not a big deal and eventually most of the books will be returned. And I'd be more irritated if this student wasn't a great helper in many other ways around the library.

I just wish he laughed at my jokes more often.

So, we're idiots but the IRS still sucks

Heh--we'll probably get audited again because of that title.

Once again, Paul and I prove to be the World's Most Incompetent People Masquerading as Adults. Seriously--how have we made it this far in life without major damage to ourselves or our bank accounts?

I spoke with a person at the investment company yesterday about our big ol' IRS bill. I did have the 2005 paperwork in front of me so I was able to see exactly what she was talking about when she said we probably forgot to claim the "return of principal" on the bonds (1099-B for those of you in the tax return know). I have no idea what that means or what that is but yep. We didn't claim it.

I remember having the conversation as to what to do with that particular item and then continuing on with the tax return, thinking we'd get back to it. Guess what we didn't get back to? Yep.

When Paul gets back into town on Friday, we'll figure out what our mea culpa will be. It may require filing a challenge to the audit with the correct paperwork, filing an amended tax return for 2005, promising to stop claiming the cat as a dependent. . . . I'm sure it will cost us something in the end; after all there was $102 in other funds that were in error. But I imagine it will be a much easier final number to swallow than $7000.

Marriage Meme

Paul laughs that I will still get a little weepy when reading about weddings or talking about ours. It's exactly what I did when reading Loni's post about her wedding. My sister Donna and I were at the wedding and it was such a beautiful day. It was also the first time I met Loni and her now-husband. We'd met online on an AOL wedding board and we figured out we'd both attended Texas Tech. She so graciously invited me to her wedding and after much discussion with Paul and Donna because I didn't know if Loni really wanted me there, Paul finally told me to get an airline ticket and go. Donna and I sat towards the back of the church so we could leave quickly if necessary--like if we were getting kicked out. What can I say--she was the first person I met from Internet world and it was her wedding. I didn't know what to expect, I was a little nervous, and I was still worried that she really didn't want me there. But I'm glad we went and I'm even happier to count her among my IRL friends.

Since she tagged me to do this, I was going to wait to post this because the anniversary of our engagement is coming up (March 29). But, I'll reminisce about that day in another post. Here is all about our wedding day.
1. Where/How did you meet? We met through a mutual friend who was back in Lubbock for a visit. I was a sophomore and Paul was a first-year grad student.

2. How long have you known each other? Since April 1995.

3. How long after you met did you start dating? 5-ish months. We never had an "official" first date; we were always together so it's hard to say when we actually started dating. It was after Labor Day but before my birthday. :)

4. How long did you date before you were engaged? 3 1/2 years.

5. How long was your engagement? About six months.

6. How long have you been married? 7 1/2 years

7. What is your anniversary? October 2

8. How many people came to your wedding reception? We had about 80 people at our wedding and I think they all went to the reception

9. What kind of cake did you serve? The wedding cake was a 3-tiered stacked carrot cake with buttercream icing. Groom's cake was devil's food cake.

10. Where was your wedding? First Baptist Church in Canadian, TX; my parents' house was just across the street

11. What did you serve for your meal? We had a luncheon with salad, chicken cordon bleu, Paul's favorite green beans, something else I'm sure...

12. How many people were in your bridal party? 2 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen

13. Are you still friends with them all? Yes, because it would make for awkward holidays if we weren't (my sisters were my MOHs; Paul's brother and best friend were the groomsmen)

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony? No, but I was about 2 seconds from hitting the full-on ugly cry. I was starting to cry and I could see Jeff (best man) looking at the Kleenex in the front pew (because I didn't have any). Paul offered me his shirt sleeve to wipe my nose and I started laughing which made me stop crying.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day? My favorite picture is us walking back down the aisle as husband and wife--all the stress and worries getting up to that point were over and we were married! Oh, and Tech beat A&M in football that afternoon, which is always good.

16. Any funny moments? Yep, recounted here. And we didn't practice the "feeding the cake" bit (and didn't use forks) so I managed to get my thumb in Paul's mouth so he bit it when he bit down. I found it really amusing but I'm not sure anyone else knew what was going on. **And the thing Donna mentioned in the comments--the centerpieces at the reception were small pumpkins hollowed out and filled with mums. Our friend Bob decided he needed to carve a jack-o-lantern in the pumpkin on his table using his table knife. My aunt saw him and just thought he was "hiding" behind the flowers so she started "hiding" as well, like they were playing peek-a-book but Bob had *no* idea as to what my aunt was doing (and having been around my family quite a bit, he was already convinced 90% of them were crazy and this just reinforced that belief)

17. Any big disasters? No disasters, big or small. I remember my mom walking into the bride's room as we were taking pictures, grabbing me by the shoulders and saying "The cake! It's leaning!" I'm thinking Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning but it wasn't. Just a slight tilt. Crisis averted when I suggested we turn the cake plate so it was leaning to the back. Mom was a little nervous. :) Oh, and then one of my cousins refused to come into the reception if she couldn't sit next to our grandparents--Mom managed to resolve that issue with very few people (including me until after the reception) knowing what was going on.

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon? We went to San Francisco. It just happened to be one of the hottest weeks on record for SF. We did get to see the fog one day though, so I was happy.

19. How long were you gone? We were in CA for a week.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change? There would be a few things I'd change if I were planning our wedding today just because I'm older and my tastes have changed. But for the most part, I'd have a very similar wedding if for no other reason than because it got us married which was the ultimate goal.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Paul would say "the middle side" but I start out on the left-hand side (if you're in the bed).

22. What size is your bed? Queen

23. Greatest strength as a couple? Our commitment to each other and this marriage. We're a good balance for each other, as well.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple? Communication. But we know it and it's something we work on all the time, sometimes to more success than other times.

25. Who literally pays the bills? That would be the magic of online banking and automatic bill pay. But it was all set up by me because it just doesn't enter into Paul's thinking that oh, yeah, we should pay the electric bill.

26. What is your song? Hmmm...we don't really have a "song" although Paul likes to antagonize me and say Supernova by Liz Phair. And while I like the song, it's not exactly something you could play for a first dance or even play in polite company. "Hey, Grandma! Just ignore that f-bomb and the reference to sex! Thanks!"

27. What did you dance your first dance to? Paul's one request was no dancing at the reception. I would have loved it but he's not much of a dancer. We did agree that if we'd had a first dance, it would have been to Sinatra's You're Getting to Be a Habit with Me.

28. Describe your wedding dress. It was white with a tatted-lace bodice, cummerbund waist and a satin A-line skirt. The train, which was "sweep length" (a.k.a short) and detachable, had the tatted lace around the edge. No beading or sequins or fuss or muss--very simple and low-key which was perfect for our simple, low-key morning wedding. I found a picture of it in a wedding magazine and just knew it was the dress I wanted. It was the only one I tried on.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding? My MOHs carried hand-tied bouquets of red, orange, and yellow Gerbera daisies tied with chocolate brown ribbons. Mine was hand-tied cream Gerberas with a cream ribbon. The rest of the flowers around the church and reception were various kinds of mums and other fall-esque flowers. I loved our flowers. My inlaws paid the flower bill and I remember my MIL telling me that I could pick more expensive flowers but it was just what I wanted.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? What do they say? I had Paul's engraved with "Always" and our anniversary date (10-2-99). I didn't mention engraving so he didn't do anything for my ring.

**My sister Donna has said that the picture of us kissing "freaks her out" because our eyes are open. I'd never even noticed that until she pointed it out to me on her last visit.

A little gun-shy

So in today's mail, there was an envelope from NM Taxation & Revenue Department.

All I could think when I saw the return address was "effing-a, how much do they want from us?"

And the answer would be $72 because it's time to register Paul's Camry for the next two years.

I have a feeling we'll be a little twitchy when going through the mail for a while.

You know that whole "Beware the Ides of March" thing? Yeah...

In our mail this afternoon was a fat envelope from the IRS.

Seems we were audited for 2005's tax return and apparently, we owe close to $7000 in back taxes, penalties, and interest.

God bless America.

We understand where the IRS is claiming we have the extra money--bonds we purchased when the church was doing a building project--but we can't figure out why we don't have any paperwork from the company other than a 1099-DIV which is the interest earned on those bonds, which we totally claimed. If we'd known that we needed to include the total amount of the bonds, we would have because we are fine, upstanding, law-abiding citizens like that. But I have a feeling that isn't a defense the IRS will accept. Nor will they just let us off because we're awfully cute (which we are. And funny to boot.)

It wouldn't be so bad but we were already anticipating a big tax bill this year (we've budgeted for five digits). Oh, the IRS generously offers a "payment plan" for these back taxes -- with a serious interest rate attached to it. And if we challenge it and we're wrong? More interest (and probably another penalty because the IRS apparently thinks it's fun to add those on).

This is why people hate the IRS.

We have until April 11 to get this figured out and paid. We couldn't help but note how conveniently we got this bill during the busiest part of the tax season. Paul is out of town all next week then we'll spend time with a nice accountant person trying to figure this out. I knew it was too good to be true when we received a refund last year.